It's long, but it has lot's of pictures!

I think this will be my last of the year, need to calm down and get work done for the next few weeks. Have a good Christmas and New Year!

I didn't actually realise the U.S. remake of Life On Mars (a.k.a. Life On McMars) had aired already so I've downloaded an episode to see how it is. Harvey Keitel as Gene Hunt?

TV

Heroes - Volume 3 of Heroes wrapped up last week for us BBC3 viewers and to tell you the truth, I'm shocked that it has actually been good for the past four episodes. The show has yet to better it's first season but with a few characters being killed off, the suspense of the series has been raised. Roll on Volume 4: Fugitives!

Black Books - I don't know why I didn't watch this before, several people had recommended it to me but it cropped up in a conversation in the academy and I decided to add it to my rentals list. Damn, this is a good show. It feels like Father Ted crossed with Spaced and some of the supporting cast come from both but it's the relationship between Manny and Bernard that makes the series. Dylan Moran plays a slightly stereotypical Irish drunk while Bill Bailey (who in Spaced was known as 'Bilbo') plays a very helpful, likable character, the polar opposite of Moran's Bernard.

The writing in the show is absolute genius and while I'm not a fan of totally surreal humour, I do like the Father Ted level where the characters can make any situation believable. I've never been a huge fan of either of the leads but I have to say my opinion is well and truly changed. This is also one of the few shows that I've ever sat and watched four episodes in a row of. Must-see!

The Wire - The only show ever to be recommended by everyone who has ever saw it. The world is divided into two kinds of people, those who love The Wire, and those who haven't seen it. Well, so far, it's not bad, but it may be a little over hyped. Though, I have only seen the first episode, I have high hopes that it will pick up by the time I finish episode 3. There's one thing that bothers me about the show, or at least the presentation of the show in the title sequences and menus. The presentation seems almost exactly like Oz, a show that I adored. In fact, some of the key cast from The Wire also starred in Oz. Both shows were on HBO so maybe there is a formula to DVD menu and title sequences, but it feels a little too similar. The show itself seems to be mostly talking in language which I don't quite understand, though, like Oz it probably needs a few episodes just for you to get used to it.

The show keeps up the HBO level of violence and subject matter: no-holds barred. Though hopefully there isn't half as much full male nudity as Oz. So far, I'm not quite sold on The Wire but I have high hopes that it will pick up by the end of the first disc.

FILM

I Am Legend (Alternate Theatrical Version) - Last year's Will Smith film and my Boxing Day movie of 2007. I did like the film the first time but found that in the middle, after a big event, the film went downhill before picking up with the great theatrical ending. Sadly, when I heard there was an almost total opposite ending, I thought it sounded awful. This time, when I watched it on DVD, I watched the alternate theatrical version and I have to say the good ending is much better. The film does suffer from being a little short for the scale of the film and once the film passes the hour mark it still goes downhill but I found this 'happier' ending much more satisfying, even though I originally enjoyed the downbeat 'theatrical' ending.

The film has some of the worst animal and monster CGI I've ever seen, very disappointing, almost putting The Golden Compass to shame. That said, I was entirely sold by the desolate New York, and this lifts I Am Legend head and shoulders above most cookie-cutter Hollywood action films, making Will Smith's film forever rewatchable. Though knowing how the book plays out, I'd love to see that version.

I Am Legend (Alternate Theatrical Version) - 7/10

On Her Majesty's Secret Service - I remember, when I was younger that I hated this film. I understand why, but now, it's up there, one of the best. The film is much more character based than most of the others and with the death of Bond's wife at the end of the movie, we are shown a human side to the invincible 007. The film is incredible in all of it's action sequences as well, there are many pioneering techniques to be found as well as some edge-of-your-seat chases. There are also a few fist fights in the film that are perhaps among the best shot in Bond movies and it reminded me of a time before shaky-cam fights. I much prefer the old way of shooting with the camera just viewing the action as opposed to dancing along with it. George Lazenby will never be the stand out Bond, but he could have been and he portrays the character well in what could be considered to be one of the darker Bond's.

The film does have a couple of flaws which stop it beating Goldfinger or You Only Live Twice (remember I'm gauging each film only on the previous films). The number one flaw being Telly Savalas as Blofeld. All of the character and mystique set up in the previous films is thrown entirely out of the window for who is, in this film, a stereotypical baddie who can do nothing but act like Telly Savalas. Another flaw I found, was in the use of rear projection that took me further out the film than before, why it didn't bother me in earlier Bond's I don't know. In this one, during the otherwise pretty good bobsled and skiing action scenes we cut to horrible shots of badly filmed rear-projection. How anyone believed it in 1969 is beyond me. The film's length may be something some find challenging, but I found it suited the eventual tone, even if it is almost 2 and a half hours long. On Her Majesty's Secret Service was the longest Bond movie before Casino Royale came along.

So this is definitely in the Top 3 of the Bond's I've watched so far. It may be one of the most overlooked, but it's definitely one of the most interesting.

On Her Majesty's Secret Service - 8/10

And now, onto something a tad different:

MY TOP 10 CINEMA FILMS OF THE PAST YEAR:

10: Wanted - Surprisingly good, brain-at-the-door action.
9: Cloverfield - Stylish and original enough to be different and watchable.
8: Taken - Liam Neeson kicks ass all over Europe, everything Transporter 3 should have been.
7: In Bruges - Hilariously dark Colin Farrell comedy, that I was so shocked that I enjoyed. Must see comedy
6: The Mist - Great Frank Darabont action/horror movie, some slightly dodgy effects but a great setup and amazing ending.
5: No Country For Old Men - Slow but incredible Coen Brothers movie that I didn't want to like but the amazing performances lift the film.
4: Changeling - Maybe it's only because I've watched it recently but this film is exceptional and smart with hopefully several awards for Angelina Jolie.
3: Iron Man - Robert Downey Jr as Tony Stark in an amazing comic book movie that is perhaps the best comic book origin story on film. Besides Batman Begins. Exceptional.
2: The Dark Knight - The most hyped movie of the year and it is truly great but is perhaps a little too long and there is maybe too much praise for Heath Ledger. The intellectuals will realise the film is about Harvey 'Two-Face' Dent and not The Joker.
1: Wall-E - Genius, a classic that will no doubt scoop MANY awards in the new year. The opening 40 minutes has to be the best animation exercise there has ever been. Even the slightly weaker second half is much better than most of Pixar's recent output.

MY BOTTOM 10 CINEMA FILMS OF THE PAST YEAR:

10: Get Smart - A laugh or two in there but instantly forgettable.
9: Star Wars: The Clone Wars - Doesn't even have the proper Star Wars titles.
8: Jumper - I would rather be smothered by one. Proof Hayden Christiansen comes from Keanu Reeves 'wardrobe' school of acting.
7: Diary Of The Dead - Romero's worst ever, so bad it seems like it might be trying to just be funny.
6: Outpost - Nazi Zombies, and it's not even the fun kind.
5: The Happening - M.Night Shylaman should not make any more films.
4: Righteous Kill - How is it possible to mess up a film with Pacino and De Niro? Here's how.
3: You Don't Mess With The Zohan - Not a single laugh.
2: Babylon A.D. - Oh God!
1: Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of the Golden Blah Blah Blah - The most disappointing film of the year. Spielberg claimed he was going back to basics, instead we got some of the worst CG ever. Please stop any more of them. Aliens? come on! I wish this film didn't happen.

"No, let me go. This franchise can't last any longer."

A slightly funnier version of the 'Nuke The Fridge' scene.

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"One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures."
George W. Bush

You Only Live Thrice

Term 1 down and as Adam informed me at the tutorial, 80 weeks left of the course. Not a lot when you think about it. Over the holidays we've to write our 3 minute scripts, which I hope I can get into a good state by the time we go back. Also, I'm hoping to get a mini-script or two finished so that when we have a spare half day, we have something to film. I had an idea that I pitched last night to Gavin and he remembered a story which was quite similar so between us, we've come up what I think will be a great little short. Here's hoping I don't end up just watching films over the holiday. This first term has been great and while I'd love to pick out something I hate, I've found it hard to do so. My expectations have all been met.

The next post I, erm...post, will consist of my top 10 films of 2008, you should try it, I've actually found it quite difficult.

So, I'm going to add a rating to films, it will hopefully make the reviews shorter and tell how good a film is. The out of ten way will be my way to go. I'm going back and doing it with past blogged films also.

FILM

Be Kind Rewind- Another film I missed in the cinema earlier in the year but thanks to DVD rental websites, it was missed at minimal cost. The film is not as good as Michel Gondry's previous Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind but it's a sweet and charming little film that for me is all about film as a device for bringing people together. The plot is a bit of a farce but the hilarious 'Sweded' films are the best parts of the film. Considering how annoyed I was at Mos Def for his god-awful character in Richard Donner's 16 Blocks, I was surprised to find that he isn't entirely talentless. The other leading cast member is Jack Black who, personally, I see more as a screen personality than an actual actor. He seems to play very similar characters with one expression all the time. Not a bad thing in a lot of films but it's one of the many reasons why I hated Peter Jackson's King Kong.

Still, a pretty decent film worth watching with some really great and funny scenes, also, for me at least, a technically memorable opening shot.

Be Kind Rewind - 7/10

The Assassination Of Jesse James By The Coward Robert Ford - Great, something I felt There Will Be Blood should have been. The pacing of Assassination is a bit off at times and at times it can be TOO talky, but I felt the performances and the cast helped keep it all interesting. Like in Gone Baby Gone, Casey Affleck is amazing and creepy as the assassin and Brad Pitt plays an interesting Jesse James. This was the second time I'd watched it and while I didn't enjoy it as much as the first time I saw it, I'm glad I've purchased it since I'll definitely watch it again. Just a massive shame about the DVD special features, a sole 31 minute behind the scenes, on a separate disc that is only slightly behind the scenes, it's more about the history of Jesse James. Worth checking out if you're willing to spend two and a half hours on a film you already know the ending too.

The Assassination Of Jesse James By The Coward Robert Ford - 8/10

Transporter 3 - Everyone knows how much I love these dumb Jason Statham action movies: The Transporter series and Crank but NOT War. Transporter 2 was a bit of a let down, it wasn't as good as the first one but it still had several "LOL" moments and plenty of stunts that are just about impossible to do. Transporter 3, barely has any of this and is up there with other major disappointments of the year. The film has a horrible, HORRIBLE love story and the worst part of the love story is that it leaves no space for action. There are only 3 action sequences in there and only one of them is that good, a fight scene were Statham kills the men around him with articles of his own clothing. The final action scene is an awful disappointment, Statham lands his car on a train and he has a bracelet on that will blow up if he gets too far away from his car. I could think of much more action scenes involving the bracelet that would be more interesting than the poor love story. How did they manage to mess it up? All they had to do was repackage the film, but in the wake of similar movies like Crank and Shoot 'Em Up, the filmmakers haven't upped their game at all.

Transporter 3 - 2/10

You Only Live Twice - When you think of the Bond series, what exactly do you think of? For me I think of Sean Connery, of rockets and missiles, foreign lands and Donald Pleasance as Blofeld. I didn't realise until after watching You Only Live Twice that this is probably the most iconic Bond film, ticking all of the boxes of what I think of with Bond. There's also that unforgettable Volcano lair as well, great stuff.

Sean Connery stood down from the role of Bond after this film (before returning for one last official time in Diamonds Are Forever) and watching it for the second time ever, he looks significantly older than he does in Thunderball. The rug is pulled out from underneath the audience at the beginning of the film since Bond is killed and I imagine that at the time, some were wondering what the rest of the film was going to be like. The film also has one of the most memorable Bond themes. You'll remember the opening bars from Robbie Williams hit Millennium. Something of note, which I had forgotten, is that the screenplay was written by Roald Dahl. Odd? A little, yes.

You Only Live Twice is an entertaining watch, and while by this point in the series the formula is evident, the film is on par with Goldfinger.

You Only Live Twice - 8/10
You Only Live Twice Theme

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More Soon!

"Anyone who sees and paints a sky green and pastures blue should be sterilised"
Adolf Hitler

All hail the 25th blog post!

Christmas time,
Mistletoe and Whine,
Children singing "Mum, please give me mine",
God's on the fire
and gifts under the tree
Time to rejoice with the crap that we buy

So Christmas is almost here and everyone has begun to wind down in preparation for mass food and drink consumption. Essentially this will give me more time to blog. Though I may get lost in new films this Christmas.

The academy this week has been particularly great, Richard's class was good fun, commenting on characters though I think we all too often talked out the stereotypes. Though I still have it in my head that the ned would keep his trainers in the fridge just to make them cooler! For those classmates who are new to Glasgow, I suggest you check out Glasgow Survival a little out of date but often good for a giggle.

Tuesday was a surprise, I didn't expect to be in all day and the all day assessment sort of got in the way of a slightly bigger event that evening, the GUITAR HERO PARTY! Though the "not actually an assessment" assessment was good and taught us a few things on top of also gave us a good idea into how each of us worked in group situations. Andy's screening of Sherlock Jr. was pretty insightful, not as good as Chaplin and I think any form of story was simply there to service the stunts, much like a Jackie Chan film. Today was one of the best and most memorable days for us all: toy's, competition and chocolate prizes, our class are really just a bunch of sell-outs but hey, it was great fun and educational to boot. Maybe we should suggest for next year that the new 1st years get toy's all year. Nah, we ain't THAT nice. The who-would-you-cast-in-a-film-of-your-life exercise was also a good laugh and brought about a mention of Dr. Horrible, which has to be possibly the best musical ever, IMO. Roll on that DVD!

The panto on Wednesday was also great, I think I was 11 (more than half my life ago) when I saw my last panto and it definitely took me back. It was great fun, the musical numbers (even the Take That ones) were pretty decent and the script was quite humorous. On top of this, the sets and props were pretty great, I'll certainly be going next year. Though the Athenaeum seems far too dangerous for suicidal kids.

Anyway, here goes, up to date:

FILM

Thunderball - I finally got round to watching this the other night and I have to say, while it has it's moments, this is a weak Bond movie, considering how great Goldfinger was. Thunderball has a one terrible problem, water. The final underwater battle borders on dull and there are far too many points throughout the film when I felt that they were simply filming the scenes underwater because they had just figured out how to. The special features will tell me if that is correct.

The film does have it's positives, a pretty amazingly edited pre-credit battle (then the jet pack), a nice use of handheld camerawork when Bond is strapped to the traction machine and of course, the infamous Bond puns. The film does have one of the best Bond baddie setups ever for Emilio Largo, who is setup up throughout two thirds of the film as the S.P.E.C.T.R.E. number 2. Sean Connery is his usual great self and in this film, it felt for the first time that I was seeing a slightly ego-tistical Connery, though at the time he did have every right to be big-headed. Anyway, a pretty ok film, but not the best of the Bond's I've revisited.

Thunderball - 6/10

Lakeview Terrace - Myself, Gavin and Charlotte decided to go see a film before we each went our own ways for the evening (Gavin and I to panto, Charlotte to GMAC) and while both of them took a little convincing to go see this, I think we can all agree it was a trip worthwhile and textbook scriptwriting. I wasn't particularly interested in seeing it until I heard on Mark Kermode's podcast that there is a lot of race related issues involved in the film. In fact, the trailer has been cut in such a way as to show this is not the case, Gavin believed that would make the film a hard sell but in fact I feel that I would much rather go and see a film with a little more depth than a generic "bad neighbour" movie.

It's nice to see Samuel L. Jackson as a good actor, and not just spouting reams of dialogue, Jackson is particularly creepy at several times and while I could take a good stab at where the plot was going, at some points I was never entirely certain and that's something I want from a film, the idea that everything and everyone is disposable. The film also has a nice bit of sub-plot which eventually becomes part of the main plot, which I feel shows a decent attempt at layered scriptwriting. It's not quite a must-see movie but is definitely a good time passer, and a much better choice than the next film I'm going to review...

Lakeview Terrace - 7/10

The Day The Earth Stood Still - While watching this film I thought of several things:

• Andy's class was great this morning
• What will I have for dinner?
• Is it dark outside yet?
• Would they frown if I went out, bought alcohol and then returned to my seat?
• Could I possibly get to sleep in the cinema?
• What will I write on my blog about this film?
• You would think Jennifer Connelly couldn't act.
  
• Keanu Reeves should make a Bill and Ted 3 and stop playing timber-like characters.
  

As you can see from this list, I wasn't engaged with this film and for the first time in a long while at the cinema, I dozed off a couple of times. The film is so dull and boring that I find it hard to recommend to anyone, it has the Body Of Lies effect of being instantly forgettable except this time, the entire film was instantly forgettable. Disaster movies need a little humour and when you cast Keanu Reeves in a disaster movie it can only end up being just that, a disaster. There are so many things wrong with it that I could probably write a coffee table book called The Day The Earth Stood Stoopid: reasons to hate the 2008 remake and still have space for a tidy blog post. There's some terrible CGI in the form of Gort which actually made me laugh when I first saw it step out of a sphere that itself is not unlike the time-travel devices in the Terminator movies. The Gort 'character' is also well underused and it becomes a cloud of nanobots in the 2nd half of the film. Why it couldn't escape earlier is beyond me, a little steel restraint wouldn't stop it turning into nanobots yet somehow no-one notices when the nanobots start to eat away at the restraint.

From the marketing, the film looks very action packed and reminds us of films such as Independence Day and The Day After Tomorrow when in fact it has less action than The Happening. This would be fine if there were any characters at all in the piece, Keanu Reeves plays a great emotion-less alien, Jennifer Connelly just stands and looks at things all the while still being attractive and Jaden Smith never feels part of the film. All the time I felt big-daddy Smith was just off camera. The film evokes I Am Legend all too often and has none of the story of that film, even though the Keanu Reeves movie is set in the same location, something else that I found laughable when it is revealed in the film. Couple this with Kathy Bates having to deliver horrible exposition ("It's an Ark") and Jennifer Connelly constantly saying that mankind can change and you've got an absolute stinker on your hands. No doubt audiences will flock to it over the festive season but when I say that a good TV actor such as Prison Break's Robert Knepper is underused in a film, please take that as another stroke against this Hollywood Disaster-piece.

To quote myself (is that allowed?): "It's like being in a coma, I paid for the ticket, went into the screen and then suddenly found myself in the lobby, wondering where my two hours went."

The Day The Earth Stood Still - 1/10

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If you're looking for some quick entertainment I suggest you check out the ParryGripp Youtube Channel, some terribly hilarious stuff, below I also have some recommended videos of theirs:

PARRYGRIPP CHANNEL
DRAMATIC CHIPMUNK
BOOGIE BOOGIE HEDGEHOG
CAT FLUSHING A TOILET

More Next Week!

“I always call my cousin because we're so close. We're almost like sisters, and we're close because our moms are sisters.”

Britney Spears

A song is for life, not just for Christmas

After the fairly unhappy previous blog, I thought I'd mix it up, first by making this one overly happy and secondly by reviewing a music dvd (or rather, package) instead of just the usual film and tv format. Here goes, oh and notice the new reaction thing at the bottom, no need to tell me what you think by leaving me a comment or speaking to me, now you only need to tick a box!

Before the happiness begins I must express my annoyance at Christmas music. For the past 3 weeks that's all I've heard in Asda, my part-time workplace and to be honest it's went far beyond annoying. Yes, it's fine for Christmas songs to be played in the week or two before Christmas but in November? C'MON! What's worse about it, is that often the same song is played within the space of an hour, since Asda likes to play every Christmas song as well as every cover version. Myself and a couple of my colleagues have expressed our annoyance at this since it seems to be far worse than any other year. I mean, Ave Maria at 7:30 in the morning? Some modern day warbling of White Christmas? and a horrible what must be X-Factor cover of Happy Xmas (War Is Over)? Is there any need for that, I understand the need for the classics but why we need all the covers is beyond me. It actually makes me long for Mad World as a Christmas song.

So when you are out in the next few weeks, doing your shopping in Asda or any supermarket chain, spare a little thought for the poor folk who have to listen to the same old songs for up to 10 hours straight each day...and then plug your ears with your iPod!

MUSIC

Thrice: Live At The House Of Blues - Thrice have been a band that I've followed for around two years now and when I mean followed I don't mean casually, like everything else I like, when I get into something, I follow it religiously. You only have to look at my completist CD or DVD collection to find that out. Thrice are a band who, since their 2001 Album Identity Crisis, have changed their sound drastically. No longer do they sound like any generic post-hardcore/post-punk band and they've now found their footing, not quite in a genre of their own but more in a prog/art-rock genre. Their recent album release The Alchemy Index, was released in two seperate parts on four discs, two at the end of last year and two at the beginning of 2008. You might be thinking "OMG, that's a lot of music" though you'd be wrong, each of the CD's for this release were six-track EP's, with each EP being centered around 1 theme. This is where it get's really interesting, each EP's theme was based on one of the elements: Fire, Water, Air & Earth. The idea itself reeks of pretentiousness but the execuction is nothing short of sublime.

Anyway, this release contains the entire House Of Blues gig over 2 CD's and also on a live DVD with an hours worth of interviews to back that up. The performance is not quite what I was expecting, the Alchemy songs still feel like the album originals but some of the older tracks show that Thrice have grown up and the depth of their muisc has definetly moved on. The editing is decent, though it really feels like it was edited live shown by several cuts to nothing during songs. The sound quality is also great and it just shows that a semi-professional live album can beat a bootleg anyday.

Of the performance itself, Dustin Kensrue isn't exactly the greatest showman on Earth. He plays and sings the songs well but besides the usual hand clapping and the "Thanks for coming out" routine his banter with the crowd is kept to a minimum. Though I must admit, if I did ever get the chance to see Thrice live, I wouldn't exactly be going for post-song dialogue.

I know no-one reading this is going to be remotely interested in picking this 3-Disc package up, I mean I wouldn't if it was a band I didn't know but I think it's nice to remind people that in this day and age of throwaway music, that there are some bands thinking outside the business model of music and simply doing it because they love it. If even they go relatively (monetarily at least) unrewarded.

CLICK TO WATCH THE 2ND TRACK FROM THE GIG, "FIREBREATHER"

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So this week in the academy was a little bit different, very few full days, in fact, only two full days. On Monday, we had to tell the class three of the things we would change about ourselves, as well as possible themes, to the class. As usual, under any form of pressure in classroom situations I break easily and I'll be the first to admit I'm no doubt the least confident when it comes to speaking in front of people in that sort of situation but for some reason I would probably be able to speak easily to the same 12 people casually outside. It's a problem I've always had and I've no idea why, it may be that my mind seems to run away ahead when I'm speaking and so I get totally mixed up when speaking. I want to say it all and in the quickest time possible. Makes me feel quite stupid sometimes actually. May a greater power help me when it comes to doing pitches, and I don't mean alcohol. Anyway, I didn't really enjoy it and I can't imagine me ever enjoying something similar, nothing wrong with Richard or the course or the academy, only myself, though our flaws are what make us, right?

We watched a lot of short films as well, both in Richard's class and in Adam's where we also watched short-short films or just "Sh" as I prefer to call them. It was quite interesting to see that some people can craft decent stories or ideas into a 90 second film. Though if I'm having trouble with 3 minute ideas, I can't imagine what the outcome would be if I imagined 90 second films.

Andy's classes were good also, although they were a little too short. I think now that we've tasted both longer and shorter classes that generally we'd much rather have classes that were that bit longer. It's just hard to keep attention during that Groucho Marx show, Andy was maybe too hard on that class, 5 minutes of that program would have been more than enough. We could have done with more Two Ronnies though, personally my favourite skit is the "Four Candles" one with Ronnie Barker playing a farmer type with (I think) a yorkshire accent and Ronnie Corbett basically plays a shopkeeper who is having trouble understanding him. As you can imagine hilarity ensues. For those who haven't seen it, here's a Youtube link:

FOUR CANDLES SKIT

Andy's classes on the early Mitchell and Kenyon films were quite interesting as well, The Panopticon visit helped give a good background to these and put everything in perspective, entertainment has certainly came a long way. Every time someone mentions The Panopticon I can't help but think of one of the locations in the game Bioshock, it's quite remarkable how close it was to the virtual room and as John pointed out, one of the paintings on the wall looked remarkably like the villan of the game.

Simon's sound class on Friday was fine, I've not felt really engaged yet cause it just feels like a lot of messing about but no doubt there are a few in the class who haven't used these sorts of mics before and it will be more than helpful for them. It's probably because I've came from an HND that I don't yet feel like I'm learning many new things with regards to sound, although I have learned not to 'window-wipe'. It is good however to have revision, no doubt my sound recording techniques are far from perfect. It's also really good to be taught by someone far more competent than I had at HND level, especially by Simon who has had significant industry experience.

On Friday night, Murdo text us all to tell us we came essentially second in the worldwide competition for the Message In A Bottle film. I doubt we were actually second overall, but we won Most Humourous and Best Story and we are second on the list, so I reckon that makes us second!

Roll on this week!

Wait a minute...this blog wasn't anymore upbeat than the previous one, BLAST! Anyway, off to watch Thunderball!

More Soon!

"I wrote the script for Rocky in three days. I'm astounded by people who take 18 years to write something. That's how long it took that guy to write Madame Bovary - and did that ever make the bestseller list?"
Sylvester Stallone

Oh yes, There Will Be Rants.

Golly, are you in for a rant if you're reading this, last night I watched one of the worst and most overrated films I've ever saw in my life and that doesn't come lightly. Though thankfully the good stuff is first, Let there be rants:

FILM

The Gold Rush - This film was probably one of the first examples of filmmakers going back to try and better their previous works or at least make them more suitable for another audience and like most other attempts, it failed but not on the scale of the E.T. walkie-talkie's. The voiceover was entirely unnecessary, much like some of the all too familiar music cues which kind of lifted me out the film. Underneath this, I still saw an excellent film and I'd be interested to return to it one day without the voiceover. Throughout the film all I could think of was the episode of The Simpsons with Burns and Homer trapped in the cabin while everyone is still attempting to climb the mountain. The Simpsons is always inspired by the best sources.

The Gold Rush - 7/10

There Will Be Blood - Sometimes you've got to wonder, how do some films get made? We've learned the technicalities of how essentially summer blockbusters are used to fund smaller films throughout the year but sometimes I see a film and think, who said yes to this? There Will Be Blood is one of those films for me. Was it the director? Having P.T. Anderson will attract a certain audience, namely film students wanting to latch onto a director from today who will, they believe, become an important filmmaker in the future. Was it the cast? Namely Daniel Day-Lewis, one of the few actors that if they ever made a silly movie about something like The Highway Code that you would STILL be interested in going to see it. Was it the the source material? A fairly unknown novel published in 1927 by a Pulitzer Prize winning writer, though apparently the film is only loosely based on the novel. Whatever the reason, I really don't understand why it was given the go ahead. Maybe it was because the film has the same title as the Saw 2 tagline...

You'll probably be thinking "Oh, Paul can't handle films with lots of dialogue" and while dialogue is part of the problem, I must point you to some of my favourite films of 2007, The Assassination Of Jesse James By The Coward Robert Ford and Zodiac. Both of these films were relativly overlooked when it came to awards season last year and both were dialogue heavy. I don't actually have a severe hate for Paul Thomas Anderson either, I loved Boogie Nights and I think Magnolia is good though maybe a little overrated, but I went into this film expecting something remarkable, which I just couldn't find.

Now here's why I don't like it. The soundtrack has to be one of the worst I've ever heard in a long, long time, none of it seemed to fit with the tone of the film and this thought was in my head long before I remembered that it was Jonny Greenwood of Radiohead, a band I don't really have any fondness for. It just goes to show, just because you are a musician doesn't mean you can compose. It may make a good prog-rock album, but not a movie soundtrack.

The story for me, has to be one of the most dis-interesting stories I've ever watched in my life, why does the story need to be told? The story of an oil tycoon who crosses the southern states of America and the trouble he runs into along the way. Sounds like the premise for Dallas. Fancy shots and long takes don't help either, I was all too often thinking, what was the point in going that way? why hold on Daniel Day-Lewis for far too long? We can tell he's a great actor, but a great actor needs to have a decent supporting cast, let's see them from time to time!

Daniel Day-Lewis is fine, he obviously appeals to the Academy but he seems to be the only one in the film who believes that he is part of a masterpiece and he has obviously put in the ground work for his character. The problem is, that he plays one of the most unlikable characters there has ever been and so the film comes off feeling like it only actually has an antagonist, I didn't actually want any of the characters to succeed in any of their goals, if they'd all to die at the end I may have liked the film that bit more.

A good test of how good a film is, is if you are able to stay awake throughout, this was something I struggled with all through There Will Be Blood. I dozed off far too many times, only ever waking when Day-Lewis would say "My name is Daniel Plainview and this is my son H.W.", though he does sound remarkably like a cross between Ian McKellen and our very own Murdo Macleod. I am however, not one to simply switch off a film because i'm bored by it, like I said with Gomorra, I always imagine there is a golden nugget at the end. This film did have a golden nugget, in the form of "I drink your milkshake", nice analogy but not entirely suited for the film and surprise surprise, it looks like it has sprung up a little internet phenomenon:

There Will Be Blood - 2/10

BEWARE, THERE WILL BE SPOILERS, IN THESE LINKS:
I DRINK, YOUR, MILKSHAKE
THERE WILL BE MILKSHAKES

Personally, and I know I'm in the minority, I despised this film, far too long, far too dull and way overrated. This is another lesson in don't believe the hype. For those interested, yes, there is a little blood.

******************************************************************************

To those who have read this far, I thank you, but sometimes you just have to vent your anger and frustration, sadly, I've probably just now lost you time in a worse way than I lost mine with There Will Be Blood, though hopefully I've saved you the time of going to watch it.

More soon!

"We're all here for the same reason: to love me."
Barry Manilow, during a show in New York.

Heroes no longer Zeroes.

Well, a weekend of emptiness (i mean literally) lies ahead so thought I'd be up to date with everything before going any further, no doubt many films will be watched this weekend, though there'll probably be more Guitar Hero practice...

TV

Heroes, The Eclipse Parts 1 & 2 - For the entire Season 3 I have been totally underwhelmed by Heroes, the show has fallen way below the standard set by Season 1 and somehow has fallen below the lovey-dovey Season 2. Or should I say HAD fallen below, since now Heroes is almost back on form and all it took, was for everyone to loose their powers.

With the loss of all their powers, this brought the story back to the characters as opposed to who's travelling to the future, who's a baddie and Claire only ever being angry, which is what it's felt like for the past ten weeks. The show still has 2 major flaws, one is possibly down to budget restraints, and that is that for a series based in the altered reality of comic books, there is remarkably little action. If you had to pick up any comic book, each week you would no doubt see plenty of action as well as character development but for me, Heroes only ever seems to try to develop characters, maybe that's why Sylar has been flip-flopping all season. This moves me to the other flaw, the show moves FAR too quickly, each scene just seems to be a setup for the next and very rarely, with the exception of Hiro and Parkman, do I ever feel that there are scenes that are there simply to develop character. Though maybe I'm just spoiled by Lost, which doesn't NEED to have action every week, the characters alone make it interesting.

While watching these episodes one thing occured to me just before it happened. Even though Future Hiro passed on the immortal line "Save The Cheerleader, Save The World" has he actually ever spoke to Claire? And apparently he hasn't, which is something I find quite strange, over 40 episodes and the characters have never shared a scene? wouldn't happen on Lost ;)! At the end of these 2 episodes they end up back in time when Claire is handed to H.R.G. and I'm quite interested to see where this goes. Let's hope they don't screw up the rest of the season like they did the first 9 episodes.

On a peculiar casting note, Seth Green and Breckin Meyer play comic book geeks in these episodes, Seth Green I can understand but Breckin Meyer? I've only seen him in Rat Race and Road Trip and I know he writes Robot Chicken but is he big enough of a geek to actually play a geek? Now there's an odd question...

“I am here to make an announcement that this Thursday, ticket counters
and airplanes will fly out of Ronald Reagan airport.”

George W. Bush

Foreign language films: A mixed bag

So as usual, Academy life is great. A pretty amazing visit to The Panopticon last week was the highlight. I've been coming into Glasgow for close to twenty years and I never considered there could be a place with so much history and so much interesting history at that. Though I believe it may be haunted by those urinating balcony men, since the place was terribly cold, though maybe that's what happens when people spend their soul's downstairs in the amusements. On the topic of hauntings (spot the segue!(pronounced segway)) I just finished watching The Orphanage or El Orfanato to give it's original title.

FILM

The Orphanage (El Orfanato) - This is a film I've been wanting to see for a long time, ever since Total Film did a special feature on it, though initially I was sceptical since it is presented by Guillermo Del Toro, the same way Tarantino presented Hostel. To the masses, this may seem like their movies but for the knowing audience, the use of these names can bring about a little paranoia in the sense that, are these films so bad that they need a big name to make them have any sort of standing? Hostel didn't actually need it, it would have been a good film without Tarantino and yes, it's not exactly a masterclass in filmmaking but I think it's quite important to feel disgusted sometimes and it's not like it really happened, it's only entertainment. Don't get me started on the 'torture-porn' thing, I'm not a MASSIVE horror fan but that term would be like calling Die Hard 'gun-porn', some critics just need to grow a pair.

Anyway, back on topic, The Orphanage is the second Spanish horror I've seen in the past month and while it didn't scare or creep me out the same way Rec did, the film was still successful in creating some 'cover your eyes dear' moments. If I had to compare The Orphanage properly, I should compare it to Pan's Labyrinth since both films were billed as horror movies yet neither seemed as scary as they ought to be. This doesn't mean they were bad films, in fact, the opposite, I've watched them both expecting to be scared silly and instead I've been sucked in by the central performances. Well shot, well edited and some excellent sound design to help you feel creeped out. It's also the first film I've saw in a long while where the scary monster/child/being appears on screen in full light and STILL manages to be creepy. I imagine though, that if they were ever to remake The Orphanage for western audiences, that Maria Bello would play the lead, she's a dead ringer for the original's Belen Rueda. On a side note, Geraldine Chaplin plays an excellent medium in one of the stand-out scenes in the film. A great piece of storytelling for those who don't mind subtitles.

The Orphanage - 8/10

Gomorra - This film had been on my radar for a few months, again, thanks to Total Film. I knew that it was a crime film and it had won the Grand Prix at Cannes but besides that I knew little else. With that, I found the film very hard to follow, I don't know whether it was my poor fragile brain that just couldn't get it, or whether the film actually IS hard to follow. It plays out like a realistic Pulp Fiction, intermingling stories all over the shop, though, since there was so much crossing over of characters I found it hard to tell exactly what was going on. There are two stories that would have made good films in themselves, the kids who want to be like Scarface and the kid who wants to join the life of crime, besides those, I found the rest of the film forgettable.

I'm thinking that maybe it was just a sensory overload and that's why I don't understand thefilm, too much happening at the same time. Maybe that's why several of the people at the screening walked out within the first hour, though I'm not one to walk out of the cinema, I always imagine there's a golden nugget at the end of the film. I did like how gritty and realistic the film felt, when people were killed it almost felt like they were ACTUALLY being killed and not like a Hollywood film where you barely care for those being killed. I'm quite shocked at the '15' rating though, considering the amount of drugs shown on screen as well as guns fired. It's maybe another example of how the BBFC goes easy on foreign films, though I doubt any 15 year olds would be going to see Gomorra, kids hate subtitles.

To sum up then: I didn't hate the film, it's more that I just didn't understand it. The film feels very gritty and realistic though I think there are far too many stories to make it remotely accessible.

Gomorra - 4/10

More Soon!!

“(Osama Bin Laden) is either alive and well, or alive and not too well, or not alive.”
Donald Rumsfeld, US Defense Secretary.

Please use 'Prequel' properly.

On several websites and also in many magazine articles, I often see the term 'prequel' used to describe the film/book/album/dance before. This is not true, let me explain:

The term prequel has only really been in popular use since around 1998/1999 when Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace was released, this is a prime example of a prequel since it is a sequel set BEFORE the original story (Episodes IV, V and VI) and since 'pre' is often used to define something as having gone before, prequel makes sense. If you believe Wikipedia, Lucas and Spielberg came up with the term prequel, Indiana Jones and The Temple Of Doom was the first prequel apparently.

So, since everyone does, or at least should, know the in's and out's of the Star Wars series, here's a technical example.

Episode IV: A New Hope came first in 1977, the film spawned a SEQUEL (though some argue it's one story) known as Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back. Now if at the time, the press were reminding the public of A New Hope then they would say it is the PREDECESSOR to Empire rather than the PREQUEL. After Episode VI: Return Of The Jedi, Lucas decided to make the PREQUEL trilogy. It is called the PREQUEL trilogy because they are sequels that are set BEFORE the original story.

Simple enough? I hope I've now annoyed everyone else up to my level and that you'll actively look for this crime in the future.

“I treat my mum as a mum and she treats me as a daughter.”
Jade Goody

Maximum Pain, not Payne.

More reviews, hopefully they satisfy you and maybe help in choosing a film if you go to the cinema this weekend. You'll notice below that at long last I've managed to write a series of reasonably short review's, hooray!

FILM

Max Payne - I'm a huge geek and am reasonably proud of the fact and being an avid video game player, this film at least gained a remote piece of interest since it was based on a pretty amazing game, for it's time. Sadly, the film is awful, the acting is terrible, the script is atrocious ("Not yet Max") and the film has little relevance to the game. It's almost as if the screenwriters saw the script for the game, tore it up and decided to rewrite it, taking what they wanted from the original, namely characters and the odd location. Mark Wahlberg has commented in most interviews that the film, his character and the director were all intense, this much is true, to the point that it's laughable. In a flashback scene, we see Marky Mark's Max Payne, smile. This was so false and uncredable that I lost any faith I had in the film.

I can only think of a single point that is remotely interesting about it all, the film looks reasonably good, though is noir-lite, seemingly ripping off many films like it and failing to match films as stylish as Sin City. Besides the female cast doing their part as slobber victims for teenage boys, the rest of the cast are truly awful. Prison Break's Amaury Nolasco can barely play himself let alone madman Jack Lupino and Mark Wahlberg may be the closest big name look alike to the video game Max Payne but he doesn't sell the character at all, in fact, if you hadn't played the game, you would be forgiven for thinking he has no character. The game screen capture below show's Max Payne with more character than Mark Wahlberg gave him in the entire film. For those who don't know, the game cutscenes were played out in graphic novel style, complete with great voice actor's.


The most peculiar thing is that for a film based on a game that is at least 95% action, you would think there would me more action sequences than the 2 or 3 in the film, especially considering that the infamous Matrix-like dive used throughout the game, is only actually used once in the film. Avoid this film, don't let them get near a sequel.

Max Payne - 2/10

Changeling (Don't worry, no spoilers.) - Last week, Richard Attenborough talked about how he wasn't a flashy director and how he always focusses on characters. I've found this is also true of Clint Eastwood and may be true for most actor/directors. This film is entirely character driven with the central performances from Jolie and Malkovich as well as Jeffrey Donovan as J.J. Jones, being noteworthy and landmark enough to win as many awards as their mantelpieces can stand. I shouldn't forget the child performances, with each of them being truly gripping and amazing as well as being the soul and emotional heart of the film. I don't want to say much more about it since the film is only actually on general release today but I suggest that if you are going to the cinema in the next week that you definetly check this out. A sure award winner at this year's Oscars.

Changeling - 9/10

The Kid - I'd never watched a silent film all the way through before Wednesday, I'd obviously seen clips but never sat down to watch one before and I found this one extremely emotional and yet entertaining. I guess if you are good at reading into films, it has similar themes to Changeling and certainly the story bares some similarites. After watching Chaplin a few weeks ago, in the closing montage there are clips of Chaplin's greatest works, when I heard that we were going to be watching The Kid, I thought I had the ending to it figured out, when instead I was pleasantly surprised when finding that there was still a significant part of the film left, which helped me enjoy The Kid much more. It is a truly landmark film, both technicaly and in terms of storytelling for the era and certainly one worth checking out if you want to see how great a film can be without dialogue. I also found that the almost lack of what I call dialogue cards (their true name is no doubt something simpler) helped the story unfold a lot better than if we were told every line the characters were saying. I never imagined there could be so much chemistry between two characters in a silent film, but Chaplin sold The Tramp as an adoptive parent much more than most modern day actors could, showing how great Charlie Chaplin was, not just as a comedian, but also as an actor.

The Kid - 8/10

At last, up to date with all the film's i've seen recently, i'm thinking I might just take the weekend off...

“Superman don't need no seatbelt”

Muhammad Ali, to an air stewardess who asked him to fasten his seatbelt. Her reply: “Superman don't need no plane, either!”

Close-minded blogger goes musical.

Ok, so I went to see 2 musical films this week and as anyone who knows me knows (?), I despise musicals immensely. I find their extreme unreality annoying, since when did you start singing and then you suddenly appeared onstage with a dance troupe? This is just my personal opinion and I understand why people enjoy them but they're not for me, besides Dr Horrible's Sing-A-Long Blog:

Greatest Musical Ever Part One

So here we go, my thoughts on some musicals:

FILM

Mamma Mia!: While it was recommended that we go see it and I'm often one to go see massive box office successes, I must admit I was very apprehensive to go see this at the cinema. Ok I did basically try and push everyone when the classes were cancelled but I still didn't think I'd enjoy it and I have to say, as much as I didn't want to, I did. Now, the film has no real technical merit, it does it's job of putting a stage show on-screen and the locations are perfectly suited to increasing the scale of the production. but I don't imagine the film will ever be studied for any pioneering technicalities. With regards to the actors, I found it hard to think of them as characters, I only seemed to be able to think of them in terms of Pierce Brosnan, Meryl Streep and Colin Firth, I guess that's one downside to having recognisable names. On top of this, none of them are particularly great singers, besides Meryl Streep and on top of this, I felt the entire script was simply set ups for more Abba songs.

Though here's why I love it. First, Pierce Brosnan singing, possibly the greatest and funniest thing I've ever seen at the cinema, why? Well, let's just say I'm going to struggle to not imagine him burst into Abba songs when fighting Trevelyan in Goldeneye. Secondly, the film is SO cheesy and SO camp that I couldn't help but hurt myself laughing, people randomly bursting into song is extremely hilarious to me. Thirdly, the film is so happy and light that I couldn't help but enjoy it, it somehow managed to grab me and leave me feeling truly entertained. It's pure escapism.

As I said before, I didn't expect to like it, but I did. I don't know if repeat viewing, for me, would keep the film entertaining but one day I might just try it. I recommend however, that you see it in the cinema if you are at all interested, I can't imagine it being as entertaining at home, though you know already that your mum is going to have a copy on Christmas Day. Could Mamma Mia! possibly be the film that EVERYONE watches this Christmas?

Mamma Mia - 7/10

High School Musical 3 - Senior Year: I had to kill a LOT of time before a gig and it was either go to the cinema myself or have company for a few hours and watch this, being the social being I am, you know what I chose. Sadly, this came nowhere near Mamma Mia!. It was funny at parts, the opening scene where the characters are playing basketball and the scarily eyed Zac Efron (he would look like one of the children of the damned if he wasn't smiling so much) bursts into song while his girlfriend is in the crowd singing back at him. Hi-larious. How can anyone take this seriously?

I found it harder and harder to laugh and therefore enjoy, throughout, simply because every single one of the youngsters (though no doubt they are similar ages with me) are extremely talented, at least in an S Club 7/MTV kind of way. I didn't find it that entertaining simply because modern pop music does not appeal to me at all, I find it to be very fake and also to be very flash-in-the-pan. This film may be quite accessable for the demographic now known as "tweens" but I just hope they don't think that high school is anything like this, otherwise they are going to end up bullied. The film may also give kids the wrong idea that life will work out, even for the worst of people, and if not, you'll be able to sing and dance at the end of it to make it alright. The characters seem so fake, I know it's set in America, but I can't even think of anyone from my high school (or FE for that matter) that acts as innocently as any of these characters. Bring me some gritty realism any day, the character's in Disney movie's are FAR too accepting and happy.

On a final note, HSM3-SY, has possibly the only time ever on film that teenagers are holding a party with no beer, instead replaced by a popcorn machine. Personally I find that quite scary, it's not violence in films parent's should be worried about, it's innocence.

High School Musical 3: Senior Year - 2/10

More soon, in the form of Max Payne, The Kid and Changeling.

“I could not fail to disagree with you more.”
Boris Johnson

You like rants? then you're gonna love this...

Rather than take up space introducing this blog, I thought I'd just get right to my unfiltered thoughts, I did try to keep it to around 200 words, honest.

FILM

Juno - Hype can often destroy a film, audience members looking for an astounding piece of work can be sorely disappointed simply because the mass media has said that the film is a must see, which kind of makes you value the power of opinion. I never got the chance to see Juno at the cinema, I'm unsure whether it was actually released when I had my Cineworld card or not but once it left the cinema the film only got bigger. The number of teens that got pregnant after this film was released only seemed to promote the film further, a double page article in "The Sun" sticks out in memory, as if teenagers had never gotten pregnant before.

To the film, the script is pretty great, the dialogue feels very real almost as if lifted from a book and Ellen Page is especially good at embodying the title character but the film fell far short of my expectations. For some reason, I thought it would be a little more comedic, instead it came off as a bit too serious, then again if the subject matter was treated with humour the worldwide media would have a field day. The film's soundtrack is also too "Indie" for my liking, I got to the midway point in the film and felt I could have subsituted Juno's soundtrack for that of Mean Creek/Half Nelson/Brick/Garden State and had the same experience. There are other types of music besides quirky "indie" tracks, maybe they're just cheaper, though the Buddy Holly song was quite a surprise. Juno may actually be the first film, I think, that has a discussion involving Dario Argento, with Juno later commenting that Wizards Of Gore is better than Suspiria, not difficult. The Garden State effect of name dropping bands no doubt loved by the filmmakers also comes into affect all to often in the film, which lifted me out of the film, but gave me a good idea in the process.

The film is more sweet than anything else, obviously made with lots of love and effort, thankfully it doesn't feel like a horrible soulless studio movie. It's just a shame Jason Reitman comes nowhere near his previous film, Thank You For Smoking, for sheer entertainment, that film was perhaps the greatest impulse buy i've ever made.

So in short, Juno is a good and slightly reflective film but is not exactly must-see cinema.

Juno - 6/10

Body Of Lies - The title, Body Of Lies, now means something more for me. It now relates to Ridley Scott's recent work's. Sir Ridley has now become a Hollywood tool, churning out an average of a film a year since Gladiator. Now I don't know if it's true, but I seem to remember learning that the general turn around for a film is 18 months to 2 years which makes me think that Sir Ridley is maybe not spending as much time on his recent works as he was back in the day. Granted, films are probably made much quicker now because the same processes that took so long before have been shortened thanks to technology. Also, I imagine that if Ridley Scott is scheduled for a meeting with the studio heads, they know instantly that they are going to commision anything he is attatched to and they have, in the form of Sir Ridley Scott's Monopoly, and yes THAT Monopoly, the one you used to hate when you were younger, though only because your brother would always choose to be the banker. I've seen 8 Ridley Scott films in total, 4 of which are great: Alien, Blade Runner, Thelma & Louise and Gladiator, and 4 of them are either mediocre or bad: Body Of Lies, American Gangster, Black Hawk Down and the truly awful Legend. Do you notice anything about the general good compared to bad Ridley Scott films? Most of his early films, often crafted over a few years (the space between G.I. Jane and Gladiator was also 3 years) are much better than the what seem to be fairly rushed films. Yes, at the end of the day it's all down to personal opinion, but it's my blog and I'll cry if I want to.

So why does the Body Of Lies title mean something different to me now, well I now see that Ridley Scott's recent body of work is lies, so if I add my infamous barely humourous title change we get (Recent) Body Of (Work Is) Lies. Don't get me wrong, when Nottingham or Monopoly (oh god, it's gonna be odd buying a ticket for that) arrive on our screens I'll still be seeing them simply because their Ridley Scott films and Body Of Lies did feel like a Ridley Scott film, except, maybe he was directing via remote, no doubt re-editing another of his films into a definitive director's cut. He's a great director, he just needs to maybe take a year out and in my opinion spend the time working on a new Sci-fi film.

At last, to the film itself. I was quite disappointed by it all, so disappointed that I fought with myself (Me Vs Invisible Man style) on the way home from the cinema trying to find SOMETHING that was great about it and I failed. As the film stews in my mind, it only actually seems to get worse. Andy's, if you're not enjoying the first ten minutes, you probably won't enjoy the film rule won out in this and right after, neither me or my cohorts could tell you what the first half of the film was about. Not good. The second half was more understandable and had a great closing 20 minutes as well as the best old-switcheroo gag I've seen in a while involving a circle of dust. Besides that though, there is far too much intrigue and there were many times I found myself confused by who was working for who and in what capacity.

What saddens me most is I had high hopes, all of which were dashed, to the point were I found myself drifting in and out of conciousness at regular intervals. Let's hope Nottingham makes a bit more sense.

Body Of Lies - 3/10

More soon, in the form of "Mamma-Musical-Gate"!

"Twenty-three is old. It's almost twenty-five, which is, like, almost mid-twenties.”
Jessica Simpson